


Dove

by shsleon (drevis)



Series: Please tell me how I'm supposed to deal with losing you [1]
Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Mutual Pining, Origami, Secret Admirer, Soda Kazuichi-Centric, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, but you will not find one here :), canon implies a happy ending, suffer with me fools
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23808388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drevis/pseuds/shsleon
Summary: every day, kazuichi finds a paper bird outside of his door.
Relationships: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Series: Please tell me how I'm supposed to deal with losing you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734682
Comments: 14
Kudos: 232





	Dove

**Author's Note:**

> every day i procrastinate my longfic  
> also- i extended the lengths of time spent between each trial. because i can.

Besides the constant threat of being murdered, life was pretty simple on the island. Every day, Kazuichi woke up to the (incredibly annoying) Monokuma announcement chime. He dressed himself, put his contacts in, and set out for the dining hall. It was a lovely routine, a perfect routine. 

Almost.

Every time a murder happened, his routine was thrown off entirely. He became a paranoid mess and couldn’t aid the investigation at all. During trials, he was useless. His inability to handle stress made him feel inadequate, therefore he didn’t try. After the second trial, he felt like there was no way for the horrors to stop. The morning after he vocalized these fears, a curious thing appeared outside of his cottage.

A neatly folded origami bird, made of dark purple paper.

Kazuichi picked it up and inspected it, feeling a small smile pull at the corners of his mouth. He stepped back inside and placed the bird on his desk. On his brief walk to the dining hall, he couldn’t keep the smile away from his face. birds were his favorite animal.

He didn’t notice the tall figure watching from afar, hiding his blushing cheeks under a thick purple scarf.

And so it went like this for the next few weeks: Kazuichi would wake up, check his doorstep, and smile to himself. He didn’t really question who was leaving the birds, he just assumed it was Sonia or Hajime. The birds were all made of the same purple paper, and neatly creased with no mistakes in the folds. Every single one was uniform, ordinary, perfect. They were beautiful.

As the despair disease ran through the class, Kazuichi’s anxiety worsened. All he could do was make the communication devices the best that he could, and even then, they weren’t as strong as he’d like them to be. The bed in his motel room was not as comfortable as the one at the first island’s hotel, so he spent many sleepless nights staring out at the ocean. Despite the change in location, the birds he so looked forward to every morning kept appearing.

On the fifth morning at the motel, Kazuichi opened his door to see a note along with his usual gift, folded in half in the same crisp manner as all of the birds. He picked it up and brought it inside, figuring that the slight delay it would cause him to read the note wouldn’t be too terribly inconvenient for the daily broadcast to the people staying at the hospital. After setting the bird on his windowsill, he sat down on his bed and opened the note. For a reason unknown to him, butterflies swirled in his stomach. In a narrow, cursive script, the note read:

_My darling Kazuichi,_

_I hope you aren’t too upset by our current situation. I know you are worried for our friends, as am I. Do you wish for the birds to stop? I know I have folded many, and I am worried you find them overwhelming. If you would like me to stop, simply mention how you hate the wallpaper here while we are all grouped together. I do hope to reveal myself sometime. You deserve it._

_Yours_

Kazuichi folded the paper in half and clutched it to his chest, a warm euphoria spreading through him. What seemed to be a love letter was purposefully addressed to him of all people! The cursive lettering and formal word choice reminded him of Miss Sonia. He hoped it was her. After a few moments of holding the letter and smiling to himself, he remembered that he was supposed to call Hajime. He jumped up and shoved the letter into his pocket, then rushed out of the door. In his frantic haste to get to the music venue, He didn’t notice Gundham Tanaka gazing wistfully after him from his motel room window.

Later that night, as Kazuichi laid in bed, he had an idea. He scrambled out from under the blankets and began rummaging through his bedside table. He needed to write a note. He didn’t know who was sending him the birds, but he wanted to thank them. When he finally found the small spiral notebook and the pen he always had with him, he began brainstorming what to say. It couldn’t be a guess at who was behind this. He definitely couldn’t insinuate it was Miss Sonia. So what could he do?

_To You_

_Thank you for the birds. They’re my favorite animal. ~~I hope to meet you I hope to find out~~ I really appreciate you helping me out. Your note made me feel all fluttery inside and it was strange. Also, what can I call you? ‘You’ seems a little bit weird. _

_Kazuichi_

Giddy with anxiety, Kazuichi walked over to the door of his room, note in hand. He picked up tape on the way. His stomach bubbled as he opened the door, hoping only the intended person would receive his note. When he glanced down both sides of the hallway to see whether or not he was alone, it startled him to see a tall figure by the vending machine, illuminated by the soft light it gave off. There, wearing dark pyjama pants and nothing else, his normally extravagant hair hanging messily in front of his face, was Gundham Tanaka.

He was talking to his hand, seemingly to one of his Dark Devas. Kazuichi couldn’t make out what he was saying. For some reason, seeing Gundham like this made him a little bit dizzy. He wasn’t as thin as he thought; the arms and torso he usually kept covered in thick clothes were quite muscular. The way he looked in this half light…

Kazuichi shook his head to clear his mind. He turned to face the outside of his door and busied himself with taping his note to it. The muted sound of bare footfalls behind him caused Kazuichi to move as infinitesimally faster as he could. 

“Why are you awake at such a late hour, mortal?”

The low rumble of Gundham’s voice made it clear that he hadn’t been awake for long. Kazuichi didn’t want to turn around, but he knew he had to. He gritted his teeth and faced the man, preparing his facade of hatred.

“I could ask the same for you,” he spat, clenching his fists to ground himself.

Being this close to Gundham hurt. Kazuichi wasn’t supposed to feel this way about his love rival; he was supposed to fight him for the love of Miss Sonia. Seeing his body in the edge of his vision, this close to him, was too much. 

“I was purchasing a late meal for my Four Dark Devas,” Gundham said simply. “They would not let me succumb to the depths of sleep.”

Kazuichi couldn’t think of a proper response, so he just stayed silent. They stared at each other, silent except for their quiet breathing and the occasional squeaking of a hamster.

“I must retire to my chambers now, mortal. You should too.”

With that simple response, Gundham turned on his heel and left. Kazuichi was frozen. He rapidly shook his head to clear his thoughts, and hurriedly finished affixing his note to the door. When he finally returned to bed, he wrapped himself in the duvet and attempted to sleep; although his thoughts were plagued with Gundham. He didn’t know why, and he didn’t like it. Those thoughts and anxiety numbed his mind until he fell asleep. 

In the morning, Kazuichi knew what to expect. Like clockwork, he went to the door to collect his gifts, and sat down on his bed to read the note left for him the previous night. As he opened it, however, he heard frantic footsteps coming down the hall. He shoved the note into his pocket in shame. The voices outside of the room were panicked, and he went outside to join them.

Another fucking murder.

The new routine was the same. Kazuichi panicked during the investigation and the trial, everyone shot him down and hated him for it. He felt absolutely worthless to the group, and returned to his cottage that night feeling numb. The familiar paper birds on his desk brought a small smile to his face, but his abject anguish won. He sat on the edge of his bed and cried. The tears flowed freely, yet he tried as hard as he could to muffle the animalistic sobs that broke from his throat. He hoped Fuyuhiko and Hajime couldn’t hear him. He was already so hated by the others, being caught crying would only make things worse.

He laid down on his side after he finished crying, and felt crinkling paper in a pocket of his jumpsuit. He remembered the note he never got to read, and fished it out. The same handwriting filled the page, making his heart flutter as he began to read.

_Darling Kazuichi,_

_I am overjoyed to know that you like my gifts. I know that this killing game is hard, and I cannot wait for the day we get out and I can be assured of your safety. As to what you may call me, I had not anticipated you writing back, so I do not know. I wish not to reveal my identity just yet, because I am so terrified of you not feeling the same. For now, however, you may call me Dove. I hope you know how lovely you look under the moonlight._

_Dove_

Once again, after reading the note over and over, he held it to his chest. The longing he felt to meet this unknown person festered within him. God, he knew he didn’t even care who it was anymore. He just wanted to know who cared enough about him to send him comfort in this hellish place. For a brief moment, he entertained the thought that it was Gundham. That was a happy thought, though it shouldn’t have been. 

Kazuichi knew what to expect the next morning: Monomi would announce that there was a new island open, everyone would explore it, and they would still not even come close to being free. What he didn’t expect, however, was being trapped in a hellish fruit colored prison without food. The only way to get food was to kill someone, and the fact that he almost felt capable of that scared Kazuichi. As he observed everybody else’s shocked faces, he knew with a sinking horror that he was going to die here. Whether from starvation or murder, he would die, and nobody would miss him.

Most of his time was spent alone in his shitty room, keeping his head in his hands to try and muffle his tears. Every second he spent in this place was another second closer to his last breath. He knew he was useless, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if he was the one to die. He understood, really.

He would want to, if only it weren’t for his Dove.

Every morning he awoke in this nightmarish place, a note and a bird would appear. This time, they were inside of his room, having been slid under the door so as not to be seen by the others. The notes were kind and reassured Kazuichi that everything would be okay. The birds, however, began to show imperfections by the third day. A messy fold, a crooked beak. Whoever was making them was suffering.

By the fourth day, Kazuichi couldn’t get out of bed. He assumed it would be the same for most everyone else. He slipped in and out of consciousness all day, always waking up to stare at the origami by his door. He wanted to go get it, to read what was written to him. He just couldn’t.

And it tore him apart.

Kazuichi didn’t know how long he slept for. All he knew was that there was an irritatingly loud bell going off and he needed to see what was going on. He unsteadily got to his feet and made his way to the door, picking up the two paper birds and the notes left for him. He stuffed them in his pocket and stepped out, keeping a hand on the wall to steady himself as he walked towards the source of the noise. He stumbled, but then felt two strong hands grab him under the arms.

“Careful, mortal. You don’t want to fall when you’re in such a state.”

Kazuichi couldn’t help but blush as he was helped to his feet. He turned around to thank Gundham, and realized that he too had flushed cheeks. Instead of a full ‘thank you,’ Kazuichi mumbled something and hoped the point got across. The ringing alarm was beginning to give him a headache, so he used that as an excuse to run toward Fuyuhiko, who was holding the wall clock. Fuyuhiko thrust it into his hands and sank to the ground. Kazuichi made quick work of the mechanisms inside, turning the alarm off and not even bothering to be gentle as he tossed it on the table.

The group of boys in the room relished the quiet respite of the next thirty seconds. The sounds of their relieved breathing were rudely interrupted by a sound none of them wanted to hear again. The body discovery announcement.

“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?” 

Kazuichi didn’t realize he was screaming until he felt his throat burn. His vision blurred with tears and he picked up the clock, fully intending to hurl it at the ground. Hadn’t they all suffered enough? To starve to death would be a better end than whatever happened to the person who died. He wondered who it could be, and his rage boiled even hotter when he realized it was Nekomaru. With all of the strength he had left in his body, he threw the clock at the ground.

He tried to, at least.

Once again, he felt Gundham’s hands on his body. They were firmly wrapped against his wrists this time, and Gundham’s mismatched eyes bored into his own.

“Soda. Please. This will do nothing to aid our investigation, and furthermore you are wasting energy you don’t have. Please sit down.”

Transfixed by the intense gaze, Kazuichi nodded and sank to the floor beside Fuyuhiko. The adrenaline that coursed through his body just moments ago was wearing off. Monokuma popped up with a red bean cake and milk. Kazuichi was too tired to grab it. Gundham noticed and slowly fed the cake to Kazuichi. He wondered why his former love rival was being so gentle with him, so kind. Kazuichi had done almost nothing but insult him since they first met. As he was being fed, he heard Nagito asking everyone questions about what they thought happened, what they knew about the events before the murder. He was able to drink the milk given to him on his own, and began to recover a small amount of energy. Nagito told him to fix the broken elevator, which he was eager to do. He needed to get his mind off of Nekomaru.

Everything to do with this investigation depressed him so much more than usual. Nekomaru was the most uplifting person Kazuichi had ever met, it seemed impossible for somebody to want to kill him. While he was somewhat relieved to not be the victim, and not be starving to death in this garish prison, he couldn’t accept that someone had to die in his stead. Luckily, working to fix the elevator was helping him keep his mind away from these thoughts.

Unfortunately, Kazuichi had become so engrossed in his work that he didn’t notice Gundham approaching him, scarf pulled up to hide his blushing face. Gundham set down his own red bean cake next to Kazuichi’s tools. He reached out to tap the mechanic’s shoulder, but hesitated at the last second. Without being noticed at all, Gundham departed, leaving Kazuichi to work on his own.

The red bean cake was eaten as soon as Kazuichi noticed it. He didn’t have to wonder who brought it for him, he only had to wonder why. Gundham shouldn’t have been caring this much. Gundham didn’t like him. Kazuichi tried to make it clear that he didn’t like Gundham, especially since he spent so much time with Miss Sonia. However unclear Gundham’s reasoning may have been, Kazuichi appreciated the kindness nonetheless.

Before he realized it, the investigation was over. His unwillingness to accept the situation caused him to space out until the trial began. He hated the trials more than anything else. Everyone arguing and blaming each other only to culminate in the execution of someone he began to trust was too much for him. Something inside of him whispered that he hoped it was Nagito who commited the crime. Something else hoped it was Gundham. Kazuichi stifled that thought especially. When Gundham was actually revealed to be the blackened, however, he found that he couldn’t react at all.

Gundham had shown him such kindness over the past few days. Was that to provide some form of preemptive repentance for what he was going to do? Gundham seemed perfectly ready for his death, even going so far as to entrust Sonia with his hamsters. He left his classmates after saying one final message, one last apology for what he had done.

“If you say killing for the sake of living is "evil," then what would you call giving up on life itself? If a world would consider that justice, then I will fight that world with every last fiber of my being! Giving up on life and choosing death...is nothing but a blasphemy toward life. It is a violation of the natural order! It is the arrogance of humanity!"

Gundham didn’t say it, but every other student knew he sacrificed himself for them. They all watched the execution with an even more morose tone than usual. Sonia was on the floor, openly weeping. Hajime was staring off into space. Kazuichi himself was leaning against a pillar, averting his gaze from the scene. One hand was shoved into his pocket, stroking the paper bird he stored in there to bring himself comfort. He felt the notes left for him, and decided to read them once he returned to his cottage that night.

As a group, the students decided to eat a late meal in the dining hall in honor of Gundham. Kazuichi, however, wanted to be alone. He brought his own plate of food to his cottage and sat at his desk, staring at the two neatly folded notes in front of him. He felt oddly nervous about reading them, as though he would somehow be disappointed by the contents within. He knew the one on the left was the earlier one, as it was still a perfect fold. The one on the right was folded haphazardly, as if his Dove was in a rush to get it to him. Kazuichi opened the first one and began to read.

_Sweet Kazuichi,_

_I can hardly take it here anymore. I miss seeing you with some semblance of happiness on your face. This “funhouse” is the worst motive yet, and I fear I may do something I regret. I don’t know yet, but I suppose it is a good thing that I am still anonymous. If I do kill somebody, I will reveal my identity to you. I don’t want you to find out because your gifts suddenly stop coming._

_Sincerely, your Dove_

Kazuichi’s heart sank. He was terribly afraid of what would be in the next note. As he unfolded it, his hands trembled.

_My Darling,_

_This will be my last correspondence. I apologize deeply for the crime I shall commit, but just know I am doing it for you. The fearsome, evil Gundham Tanaka wanted to save you. Please don’t cry for me. I love you, Kazuichi, I hope I can see you again someday._

Kazuichi was broken beyond repair.


End file.
